Beyond Folders : setting limits

How Much is Too Much? Managing Kids’ Sports and Activities

Community Manager — Tue, 21 Sep 2010 12:10:00 GMT

Do you need a spread sheet to keep track of your children's extracurricular activities? Are your weekends spent coming and going, and going, and going to various sports matches? If you're wondering how much is too much, you aren't alone.

In examining the overscheduled child (and carpool-weary parents) for the article How Much Is Too Much? the San Francisco Chronicle stated:

"A study by the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research found that from 1981 through 1997, children's time spent playing structured sports increased by 25 percent, and time spent in unstructured play fell by about the same amount. The study also found that kids have 12 fewer hours of free time a week, eat fewer family dinners, have fewer family conversations per week and take fewer family vacations."

Parents need to walk the line between providing children with enrichment activities and socialization opportunities and unwittingly pushing their children to burnout. Sometimes a soccer match is fun; sometimes it's the last straw. Read on for signs that your child may be too busy for their own good.

While every child is different, parents should be concerned if their children:

Feel tired, anxious, or depressed
Complain of headaches and stomachaches, due to stress, missed meals, or lack of sleep
Fall behind on their schoolwork, has a drop in grades

If burnout is an issue, it's time to scale back. Parents wishing to provide a healthy balance for their children may find the following tips helpful:

Agree on ground rules: Have children pick one sport per season or limit after-school activities to 1-2 times per week.
Keep a calendar: Use your kitchen command center to keep track of activities to avoid over-scheduling.
Skip sessions: A beautiful day or a birthday party can be a great excuse to skip a class every once in a while.
Carpool: Less driving, less stress. Enough said.
Balance kid and adult activities: Schedule time for you to enjoy hobbies. Carpooling shouldn't be your only activity!
Create family time: Family game night, walks or hikes are a great and inexpensive way to spend important family time.
Set priorities: School should come first. If homework and grades suffer, activities have to be dropped.
Say no: Don't let your child over-schedule; say no or discuss dropping activities to make time for new ones.
Schedule downtime: Do-nothing downtime has value.

How does your family balance after-school actives with family time and downtime? Is your child over-scheduled? Share your thoughts here and on the Beyond Folders Community's Facebook and Twitter pages.

by Carly Fadako

Tips for Setting Up Your Home Office

Community Manager — Thu, 20 May 2010 12:58:00 GMT

The Home Office Conference Call

How do you set your boundaries?

I previously posted about the rise of a home office workforce that favors an easy (or, really, non-existent) commute, more flexible hours and a casual dress code. According to a recent Wall Street Journal article, almost 52% of all small businesses are home-based. If you are thinking of working from home, here are some ideas for setting up your office space.

The first step is to choose the right area of your home. This post from iVillage poses some key questions to consider, including:

How much time will you spend in the office?
What type of work are you doing?
How much privacy do you need?
Is a computer the office's focal point?
Will customers or vendors visit you?

As this USA Today article and a post from workshifting.com set out, once you choose the physical space for your office, you need to consider what you need in it, such as:

Electricity
Internet, phone and fax connections
An ergonomic desk and chair
Good lighting
Heaters or air conditioner
Storage

If being green is a priority, check out the tips in this post on How to Set up a Green Office for $1000 or Less . Planet Green also offers this Comprehensive Guide.

One of the great benefits of a home office is proximity to your family. But, if you have kids, you will probably want to set some boundaries (physical and otherwise) around your workspace. This Fast Company article on The Home Office, Kids Edition provides some good insights.

Have you set up a home office? If so, please let us know how you did it. Photos welcome!

by Carly Fadako

The Power of No: Setting Boundaries for Your Professional Sanity

Community Manager — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 13:30:00 GMT

In the movie, Yes Man, a personal development guru tells down-and-out Carl Allen (played by Jim Carrey): "You say no to life and, therefore, you are not living." Taking this statement to heart, Allen agrees to say Yes to all the people and opportunities that come his way .... and soon learns how precarious and depleting Yes can be.

This fictional account reflects what a lot of us experience in real life and what an article from MayoClinic.com confirms: It's easier to say yes, but saying no may be a healthier option. You add a lot of unnecessary and unhealthy stress to your life when you honor too many requests for your time and talents.

For the sake of your professional sanity, and overall wellbeing, you need to learn how to say No to your boss, to your co-workers and to your clients or customers - at least some of the time. (As a father of 7, I practice the art of No frequently).

To get the learning process going, this article outlines 6 Ways to Say 'No' and Mean It. There is, among others:

The direct No (No, no thank you)
The reasoned No (I can't meet with you now because I have a report that needs to be finished by tomorrow)
The rain check No (I can't have lunch with you today, but I could make it sometime next week)

As explained in this post on 10 Ways to Say No to Your Boss, an honest and straightforward explanation is best.

If you still need more insight into the power of No, you can find it, along with some practical guidance, in this Psychology Today look at setting boundaries at work .

by Bradley Eggers